Potential Lost

2009.07.02

I wanted to be able to play.  But instead, I am stuck in work.  I wanted to be able to travel.  But instead, I am stuck at home.

I wanted to be with someone loving and exciting and beautiful.  I ended up with someone too brain damaged to care.  I wanted to make love on a regular basis.  Instead I ended up married…. twice.

I wanted to have children when I was young.  Now I am too old to keep up with my daughter, and the distance between us will only grow.  I wanted to have lots of friends.  But, generally, most people despise me.

I wanted to be treated honestly, and I gave honesty in exchange.  Instead people misinterpret me, and give lies to my face.  I wanted to be liked, and I gave friendship in exchange. But I am not liked, I am at best tolerated by all but a choice few.

I wanted to have the freedom to dance.  But life crushes me, and I am bound.  I wanted to have the gift to sing.  But the mountains of tears have broken my voice.  I wanted to have the time to draw, and the talent to paint, but all I can do is type, and scratch.  I wanted to ski, and swim, and ride, but now I can barely walk. 

I wanted health, and happiness, but my body is dying all around me.  I wanted wealth and well-being, but life has given me nothing.

I wanted to do things that were important, but my life is insignificant.  I wanted to be someone special, but I am just a clone.

I fight the battle daily, but I am torn apart.  I never win, but the battle rages on, and the front never moves.

I wanted to have a life, but I failed.  I took the F.  And now all I have is a lie.